I have been wrestling through over last few days trying to redefine my PPNs. It’s been interesting but very important process for me. Thanks to my guides who have been so patiently walked through this process of asking helpful questions, discussing and clarifying what’s on my DMP trying to identify my PPNs.
I had chosen “Autonomy and True Health” as my original PPNs but now I am changing them to “Liberty and Recognition for Creative Expression”. Completely different!
But this change makes sense to me. Even though I chose “Autonomy” as one of my PPNs, I had hard time expressing this need in my DMP over last several weeks. I was kept saying I really want me to be autonomous detached from all the responsibilities and unhealthy attachments that I have built up in my relations and responsibilities but I was struggling to define what that looks like for me. It finally dawned on me the reason for this struggle with “Autonomy” was because I needed to be “Freed” from all the unnecessary attachments that I have developed over last 54 years of my life. Whether it be growing up as a pastor’s kid, marrying a pastor, serving my family and people at church and helping people through my work as an Occupational Therapist.
This is exactly what I’ve been working through over last few months freeing me from the old way of living my life “doing whatever I have been taught or thought I should do as daughter, wife, sister, Pastor’s kid, Pastor’s wife. It became a habit, so called “old blueprint” without much thought or reflections. But I have been shedding off this old blueprint and taking on new blueprint of redefining who I am according to what I believe that I was created for through deep meditations, reflections and creative thoughts.
As I am being freed from this old blueprint, another aspect that I am noticing is “Recognition for Creative Expression”. There is something in me brewing and exploding that I am having hard time containing at times. They are crazy big ideas, thoughts, passions and excitements of what I can do or what I would like to do. I recently had a chance to speak in front of large group of people and I wasn’t nervous at all but was very confidently presented what I wanted share with that particular group of people. I was surprised at myself for the fact that I actually enjoyed this experience. Then I started to think back some of the opportunities that I’ve had over the last couple of years with leading workshops and I reflected back how much I enjoyed and it was very natural for me. I also noticed that I love speaking from my heart what I believe and love to motivate, encourage and empower people.
So I am loving this new discovery of my personal pivotal needs (PPNs) that have been manifested in my life over last few weeks and months and excited to continue to explore and deepen this powerful needs that will fuel my DMP!
Hence, I am defining my PPNs as “Liberty and Recognition of Creative Expression.” I am still working on revision my DMP according to this change. It is definitely work in progress! I will persist and I will succeed!